I've got a case of the Mondays and it's Thursday.

Today is a beautiful Northwest day: big puffy, rain-filled clouds with sunshine brightly breaking through. It's a good time for a walk but all I can think about is getting some retail therapy. I just want to buy some new place mats for our table, I know that will make me feel better. Somehow, I think, those new, fashionable place mats will make me feel like I'm settled here. What I know in my heart is that I don't feel at home here, really. I want to blame it on the lack of sunshine but I think, honestly, I'm just bad at making new situations great. This new situation has lasted me four years and a baby. I thought that when I found the love of my life, had a home to call our own, a circle of friends, a baby, etc. I would feel settled. My heart is still in too many places. Plus, like I said before, I'm terrible at new situations. I'm not great at reaching out and in this place in my life, I HAVE to reach out. People will not come to my house or stop by to see how things are going. I'm not at work where I can find a support system nor do I have a church family where I can fully participate, yet. Taking classes to convert to Catholicism has been one of the first thing that really feels like my own journey and I'm doing it because my husband is Catholic! I want to be home with my sisters and my family. I want to be with my friends who have shared some of the best times in my life. I want to have that here and I don't. I want it so bad it hurts. I have the most beautiful family. I have a husband that supports me and all of my desires. I just want more. Today, I want more. For now, I'll stop ignoring my baby girl while she makes a mess of her lunch, eat some more vitamin D gummies and maybe go shopping, on the search for a false sense of purpose--I'm sure Target has just what I'm looking for.

Places #2 and #3 for me were the San Fransisco Wedding Weekend

Ok, so I'm just now getting back into the swing of things after starting school so I have to catch up on all of my posts... Even though my time and resources are super limited because of school, I'm still going to try and beat my big sisters.

Back in June, all of the family and I traveled to San Fransisco for Danielle's wedding, so we sisters thought we'd try and hit up a few new places while we were there. Since we've all been to San Fransisco many times, we had to be creative to find a place that we hadn't been before. After walking around the city in the morning, we found Sweet Joanna's for lunch on the day of Danielle's wedding. We took a long roundabout walk through Union Square and Macy's, and then we headed over to the cafe. By the time we got there we were all starving, so it was a good thing they had an awesome deli and yummy food:) By the way... I match the sign, so I think I get extra points for that.


Kevin and Danielle (who is practically a cousin to me, aka fauzin) had the most beautiful wedding at a Catholic Church in San Francisco with a picture perfect reception to follow on Treasure Island... giving me my new place #3! The island used to be a military base, so the entire island is not a tourist attraction, but it certainly has the BEST view of the city! The island was quite windy that day, which doesn't always make for the perfect picture, but here we are with our wind blown hair and all.

Competition Edge= Mel's #6

My Husband belongs to a off road motorcycle club, The Rovers, who put on a race MX race once a year. This year it was at a track in Hesperia, CA called Competition Edge. The races are usually a decent trek away from home. This was about a 5 hour drive for us, and after a crazy work week I was having a hard time finding my good attitude to head to the desert. If we were going to the beach or a spa, my good attitude would have packed itself, but the desert is usually hot, windy, dirty and lacking showers. But this time we ended up staying in a hotel near the track. And one of the Rover leaders is so sweet to my baby and bought him a fun toy to play with and let us hang out in their trailer, fed us, and all! She takes such good care of us! I really wish I had more time with my baby boy and I got such good quality time with him on this trip! Just the two of us got to hang out in the hotel in the morning and I got to teach him how to drive the truck and his first tooth popped out this day (which was also father's day). It was great to leave all the stresses, like laundry and other chores at home and just hang out with my boy and take pictures of the race. My good attitude ended up appearing even though I thought I forgot to pack it.
Ok, so low for the trip was finding a changing table to change a poopy diaper, they are only in the women's bathroom and super hard to find, we finally found one at a KFC and high for the trip was hanging out with my boy.

Sweet Joanna

Joanna was our sister. I miss here so much, words can't explain the gaping whole that still remains in our family without her. She died August 24, 2001 in a car accident. That day was surreal and when I remember the events of the day I still feel like it was a bad dream. My Mom called me to say she was riding in an ambulance with Libby, going to the hospital; and Joanna was dead. I struggled to get in touch with my husband and when he arrived at the hospital he thought he was there for his mom who was dying of a brain tumor. I just remember how he melted in my arms when he found out that she was dead. I wish every day of my life that I could take back that one day and the whole 2001 year.
Life is so unfair. My sister, Sweet Joanna, was a beaming 16 year old girl who was so sweet, confident, loving, giving, beautiful, and talented. The world is worse for her loss. It's been almost 9 years, but I can still remember her laugh and see her smile. Life is so different without her.

You are so missed Joanna.

'i carry your hear with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing my darling)
i fear
no fate (for your are my fate, my sweet) i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
"here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is ther root of the roort and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your hear (i carry it in my heart)'

E.E. Cummings

Bay Area=5 places for Mel

Ok, this is my first post about my trip to the Bay Area where I knocked out 5 places. But before I tell you about my experiences and places I have a confession: I'm not a writer. That will become obvious soon, but I don't want this to be like William Hung trying out for American Idol, and you thought I was serious about my talent. Whew, that's out, now I can get started...

I've been to the Bay Area many times before, but this was my first plus baby trip. Don't worry I don't think because I'm plus baby everything is new, but let me tell you travel with a baby is very different than I'm used to. I've enjoyed a solo lifestyle of jet setting and hotels with bars. Now my travel is all about me & the boys, car trips, and hotels with kitchens. The beginning of the trip was all work (no play) for me. We stayed in Newark in a Homewood Suites. I was a fan of the Homewood Suites before, but now I'm obsessed, they are perfect for family/business travel. This is where I left my boys while I drove all over the Bay Area. My first stop was in Santa Rosa, a decent trek from Newark, after a conference call with me sitting in a gas station parking lot and many hours in traffic, I finally made it there by 10 AM, and by 11 I had only made 4 stops. Not a good pace since I had 6 more to go and a lot more ground to cover. So when I made it to my #1 of my 100 places I was not pleased. Well Skippy died on my last year (that's what we named the GPS my parents gave my sisters & I for Christmas several years ago. The GPS had to have a name so when he failed us we had a name to curse at). Since Skippy died on me I've been using google maps in my iPhone, which is awesome if you can read a map, but I'm challenged in this department. So this brought me to my first of 100. I would have just turned around if I wasn't in this competition. But I ended up in Howarth Park , this place is beautiful and made me want to move to Santa Rosa. I got out of the car in my work clothes and felt totally out of place right away. Folks were on bikes, had their running shoes, or getting ready to rent canoes for the day. The smell of Eucalyptus was strong and there was an energy in the air that made me want to work out. For a short time I dreamed about living there and taking my baby to one of their many parks or strolling with him in the jogger down the shaded path, and then I was pulled back to reality when a biker passed me in his tight shorts and looked at me strangely. It's not often a guy in tight shorts make me feel out of place, but remember I was in my work clothes. Here's the picture to note my first place.

The same day I made the wrong turn into Howarth Park, I also traveled from Santa Rosa to Napa on Highway 12. Now normally I wouldn't try to pull off a highway as a destination/ new place, but the drive is breathtaking from Santa Rosa to Sonoma especially. While I was driving I was thinking, I love that my job takes me to such beautiful places. There are times when I'm driving alone that I'm overcome with gratefulness for my boy, my husband, my family, my life. Today the view struck the "I love my life" cord. Maybe it was the rolling hills, or the grape veins, or the blue sky, I don't know exactly what it was, but it was one of those times I wish I could bottle the feeling. After passing through the heart of Sonoma I stopped for lunch at Pizzeria Capri right by train town. I had homemade soup & caprise salad at the charming family owned restaurant. So I snapped the photo for my number 2 place in front of train town and hwy 12, but it seriously doesn't do the place justice and I feel pretty ridiculous in this photo.

For a proper explanation on the significance of the number 3 place I think I'll post in a separate blog. But I'll post here the photo and the story of how we arrived to Sweet Joanna's. Me and the boys moved ourselves out of Newark to San Fransisco after a couple days. We were convinced by my mother to stay with the rest of the family in the city. All the family was in town for Danielle and Kevin's wedding, what a fun wedding weekend! It was well worth the move. The weather was beautiful in the city and made me want to walk for coffee in the morning, even though we had our own Starbucks in our hotel. So I made the boys and Lib walk too, with promises of coffee only blocks away. Well here again, I didn't read my Google maps properly and I got us a little lost. We finally found another Starbucks, and after getting properly caffeinated we stumbled on a breakfast/lunch place called Sweet Joanna's. Lib and I decided we wanted to come back, maybe for lunch? Once we got back from coffee we met our parents, who had just picked up Kris and David from SFO, and we all decided to walk to Union Square. After our touristy walk around the square we were getting hungry and Lib and I had to pull for Sweet Joanna's over Quiznos. It was a bit of a power struggle to get there and the whole time in my head I was praying for it to be worth it. Thank goodness it was; Thank you Sweet Joanna!

The power struggle for Sweet Joanna's put us in bit of a time crunch to get dolled up for Danielle and Kevin's wedding. We had been looking forward to this wedding for months, and it was everything and more than we had hoped for. It really was a weekend wedding extravaganza starting with the Giants game on Friday night, where 95 guests attended the game with the bride and groom; where Lou the Seal gave them a ride around the field! The wedding ceremony was beautiful in an old catholic church in downtown San Fransisco. Such a gorgeous place for wedding! And the picked the best view of the city for their reception: Treasure Island (my #4 place).
It's seriously the only place I know of that you can see the Bay Bridge, the Golden Gate and the view of San Fransisco all in one panorama. And oh my, I kept being surprised by the fun things at the wedding: photo booth, espresso bar, fire pits for smores, and they ordered best weather I've ever experienced in San Fransisco. I think it was a high of 75. The wedding was a blast and for a seriously great couple. Danielle and Kevin are so genuine. It felt like it was such a privilege to share the day with them, thanks for making it so fun!

The next morning in San Fransisco we got to celebrate my Dad's birthday over breakfast at Mel's, of course it was delicious! Krissy says it didn't count as a place because we had all been to one before. Krissy has the best memory of our bunch so I trusted her, but had to take a photo in front of "my" place anyways.
When deciding to leave the city we decided to go South on 101 until it's met 152; a much more beautiful drive than 580. But it's probably not the most efficient. Since we were headed this way I convinced Justin to stop at Casa de Fruita.
I had never been before so this would be my #5 place; and Jensen needed a diaper change and a full belly before we went much further. This place was hilarious, Casa de hilarious! Everything is named Casa de blank: Casa de Sweets, Casa de Wine, Casa de RV, Casa de Gas, etc.; but my favorite Casa de Choo Choo. The whole time we were there it reminded me of Casa Bonita in Colorado (totally different place, but hits the same high score on the corny scale).

So my family does this thing we call High/lows. It started when we visited Krissy while she was an exchange student there during college. We traveled every day to many different places and at the end of the day over dinner, or in the car we'd recap on our best part of the day (high) and worst part of the day (low). We resisted My Mom's attempt at forced family fun, but we now totally embrace and force anyone at dinner with our family to partake in high/lows. Most say they hate it, but we know they love it, try it! It's actually a really great way to hear everyone's perspective on the day, trip, weekend, or whatever.


So here's my high/low of the trip:
Low: Is that I did a fist bump that wasn't even cool in the 80's at the Giants game. The giants had just had a great play and the crowd went wild and someone sitting next to me (much younger and cooler than I) fist bumped me and I hit his fist high and low, like some lame person. It was so bad it took him out of the excitement of the play, the moment, and he has asked me only to do fist bumps like that on Friday. Ugh, I'm old and too embrassing to take out!
High: It's hard to pick because it was a stellar trip! But my baby boy pulled out his party pants for the night of the wedding and was a great kid until 9:30, way past his bedtime. He allowed us to hang out, dance, make smores; while he got passed around from person to person. I'm really so lucky Jensen is mine! I think that will be my high in life.

Buck Owen's Crystal Palace

Bakersfield, CA - Stephanie and I went to Buck Owen's Crystal Palace for Friday night dinner and drinks. For those of you who don't know country, Buck Owen's (1929-2006) is a well known country singer. He set up the Crystal Palace as a place to continue to share his music, as well as a place to display some of his memorabilia. The outside of the Crystal Palace isn't much of a sight to see, but once inside it's like a club for country lovers with music and dancing. While we were there, we listened to Buddy Alan Owens and The Buckaroos. All of the people who knew how to square dance were on the dance floor, and those of us who don't know just sat back and enjoyed the music. It was a great place to hang out, and ladies, if you're looking for a cute cowboy... ;)

Meet Krissy, Sister #2

Out of the three of us sisters, Krissy is the fun one. Anyone who knows her knows that she is the life of the party and always so much fun to be around. Growing up, Krissy was my cool older sister (older by 6 yrs). She was always doing neat things like traveling to exotic places. Kris isn’t afraid to go to completely foreign places to get immersed into the culture, and she never says no to a new adventure. I would anxiously await her return with all of her interesting stories. I especially loved the story about the time she got her palm read by a psychic while she was overseas… you’ll have to ask her about that one;)

Kris also comes up with the most random places to visit and makes it fun. When my cousins, Elise and Audrey, went to visit her in Indiana over the summer, she took them on a road trip to see the world’s largest ball of paint and the girls had a blast! For Elise’s 16^th birthday Kris thought it would be fun to take our cousins on a surprise road trip down to Southern California. Her idea was to trick them into thinking we were going somewhere boring for them, like Joshua Tree National Park, and then surprising them with something really fun. We had them convinced we were going to a place that would have been boring for two teenagers (even though I’m sure Krissy could have made Joshua Tree National Park a fun trip for them) for several days until we were literally in the Disneyland parking garage.

Krissy has probably traveled for leisure the most out of all of us and she certainly has been to the most foreign countries. Let’s see how many I can name: Spain, France, Mexico, Chile, Bolivia, Argentina, London, lots of places in the US, and most recently, Greece. She got her degree in Spanish at Anderson University in Indiana, and lived in Chile for about six months while in college. She became fluent in Spanish when she was in Chile (which I am super jealous of), and this has helped her get around in a lot of the other places she’s traveled to. Most recently she lived in Indiana, where there are actually four seasons, for a couple of years while working for Anderson University as the West Coast admissions counselor. Her job entailed recruiting students to the school among other things on the “West Coast”, which was pretty much anything west of Indiana. So, Krissy has done her fair share of traveling for her job alone, doing shows and events to promote the school.

In May 2010, Krissy got married to David (the man of her dreams). She just moved up to the Seattle area, where it rains ten months out of the year, to be with him. Although she has visited Seattle several times, she is still going to have lots of new places to explore there. Kris will be juggling a new job and a masters program to be a school counselor while visiting all of these new places with her hubby.